I have been living with my parents for quite some time now. It is a boon on any tiring day with everything being taken care of. And sometimes its like George Costanza (for those who do not get the reference, watch Seinfeld) struggling to survive. Its been a journey one of a kind.
A usual dinner table in my house includes all of us and some shitty news channel playing on the TV. These channels have become such a mess. Usually, the screen is divided into 5 boxes and all the people in these boxes speaking simultaneously. It is so difficult to find crisp news just like old days. Simple information is a luxury. People ranting for hours in the name of debate is not only foolish but also sheer noise. To add to this, the credentials of these so called experts are botched up. So what you hear is not even accountable.
These thoughts took my over brain this winter. So I got a plan/experiment.
I watch a lot of youtube web series, stand-up comedy videos. I wanted my dinner table to play YouTube somehow with some light hearted videos. That’s a tough task if you ask me. So one day, I insisted on playing a web series instead of news. I chose TVF’s Humourosly yours. Big time failure. The show was fine until the language got unparliamentary. Next, I picked Amit Tandon, a standup comic. It worked this time.
After trying many combinations, I found that the shows/videos had to have some common topic and could not be too bold :). And it came to my mind why not play old tv shows on youtube which I liked in my childhood. Shrimaan shrimati came to my feed. I gave it a try and it became a seller. The quirky gay playing Dilruba, the notorious kid and a consistent theme every episode took some days on our dinner table.But eventually it got monotonous.
Then a black horse appeared – Malgudi days. I had seen the show when I was very young. But my memory sucks and I didn’t remember any episodes. The show is a work of genius. Simple theme remains its strong point every time. Like the first eight episodes talk about how a child copes up with the friends he loses in school. What an evergreen thought for any show. I don’t think for years, anyone can think of finding this theme outdated. I could relate to it. My father too.
And so the transition happened. Now if the cable is not available, my father switches to youtube himself. I feel this change had to come. The usual channels on television have become so dull. Moreover, the whatsapp forwards have taken the standards to a new low. To pick an intelligent content has become a task from the sea of options. Hope this transition to Youtube stays.
This post is dedicated to one of the friends in office. I have been friends with with him from the past three years. He is one those guys “thought” sorted in the list. He is also the most witty among all. People who know him love him.
Now to give more perspective to what I will talk about, I think of myself as a struggler. We all have struggled at some point. But I have a master’s degree. Not that I struggle in every other thing. But on a broader picture I do (it is better to accept than struggle to hide the fact). When I’m serious most of the talks are based what am I or are you doing. Which is good until the point you start procrastinating at every single success story you hear. The mechanism of thoughts here works on fear. If you are scared sometime you take inspiration and you work on yourself. But not every time.
So I am having a chat with this dear friend with whom the frequency of chats have decreased over the time. Yet the love and compassion remains the same. We do our customary grudge talk of not talking often and then move to the usual serious talks. What next in future ? I get all whiny, saying its not leading to the point where I want. I am trying though. Now any struggler would connect to this thought. Yet I should say a foolish answer. I hear my friends answer and my heart is literally pounding. He says “I don’t have any hot shot goals. I come from a small town and now I work in one of the best cities of this country. I think where I am today most people aren’t. I want to lead a normal life”. I am dumbfounded at the simplicity of this person who reminded of the basics of leading a peaceful life. To top on this the honesty with which the words hit my ears, I AM SOLD! He is not telling me to show how cool he is, which he is. He is the answer to that sorry answer which pops out every time that “life is going no where”.
He adds to this, saying “I see people from big cities with so much knowledge (and exposure), I feel there still a lot to learn”. I have tears in my head at this point. Of all the assholes I have met who call themselves from city this is the most sensible and modest thing I have heard. A very few have this “there is a lot to learn” thought as their usual thought these days. I have been a true believer of this train of thought. Having said this, to have this ingrained in your head is hard. But reminders like these are such a turn on in life.
I think people easily let their guards down to honesty which is a fair assumption. Because you know there is safety. To give an example, a comedian, Zakir Khan, whom I follow loyally, is one who exploits this honesty thought brilliantly. To add to this Zakir confesses his mantra to the audience who feel more connected.
To put an end, now I know why my friend is “thought” sorted because he is. I am thankful of having people around who keep increasing my wisdom by their humble words. I hope I never lose such people.
“I AM A CHAMAN, I NEED TO LEARN”
It takes a lion’s heart to start a conversation and break the ice. It takes even more to say goodbye to a loved one.
Life is such a puzzle. It makes the bitter sweet and takes a second to transform a sweet to bitter. I believe, it’s an art to be comfortable with anyone. The awkwardness at the start probably kills the brain with million thoughts. The courage then kicks in and you begin to familiarize. And there you go. There is connection, be it in a stranger in train, a jaywalking person inquiring directions, a distant relative’s visit etc. In every instance, the connect is possibly the most essential part. The deeper the connect, the longer you have known and the ease becomes effortless. Yet nothing stays forever and there are goodbyes.
I have spent a part of my childhood dealing with goodbyes. I used to live in a joint family. Relatives and friends would keep visiting and keep the house in a jovial mode. But when they used leave, it would devastate me. I, in my usual self would keep thinking about the good times. Sometimes, I would loathe the happy moments cause they would make me feel sick once they end. But that was childhood. You pass most things being helpless about it. Or you wait until you grow up.
Skip past all these years. I started to realize the extremity of this problem. I think at some stage we all do. One of my close friends changed class sections and that was it. I had enough. I started this game of fooling my mind. It’s a pretty simple one. We have done it with children while feeding them. You play with the brain and the brain accepts it. Most of the times, you know that you will leave someone. (NO! THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT BREAK-UPS) The only thing is the belief and the thought of being at a distance. To realize this thought, you may fool your mind to start believing of the distance before the actual goodbye. Now the tricky thing is to not act aloof. That would end you up in another trouble. Once the mind feels the goodbye, the thoughts are accustomed and the impact is deferred.
It is said that time can heal everything. A time travel can make the healing quick. A mind travel can do that even quicker. Its been sometime that the trick helped me out. College friends, colleagues and family, every goodbye was smooth. I don’t think I have become cold-hearted to the one’s who have left. Neither do I call myself strong. Yet I think I have got used to the change coming to rescue me from my comfort zone. And every uncomfortable day teaches you more about the present.Because living in the past as well as the future both can ruin your life.
I know I have not written for a long time. And the comeback post is on ‘goodbyes’. Although it’s not a million-follower blog, I am not closing the blog. I was just busy with some heart-felt goodbyes in the past few months. I am hoping to write on more topics. I do this great activity of capturing a thought whenever it passes my mind. I just write the thought somewhere and once I open the blog, it flows in. I feel this is a great activity to calm a mind. Writing can destress a lot. An instance of this was when I logged into the blog after 3 months and read the last post. It was such a bliss. I fell in love with my intellect and thought to start this second innings of Undulating Life.
Some things are certain in life like the Christmas being peaceful every year , the new year with family, no major changes in the new year so on and so forth. On the other hand there certain things which do not have a specific time of arrival. They can hit you tomorrow or can make you wait for years. One such thing according to me is Adulthood.
Adolescence is a sweet phase. You learn so many things. You have so many questions. You get the answers to those questions easily. Life is wound around few trivial stuff which seem magnanimous. The control of your life may not be much in your hands but it remains well within the reach. You seem to know that in sometime you will be independent. The pinnacle for which you were taught so many things.
And then adolescence ends. It is the time when people know that you are no longer an adolescent. People also have known your adolescent nature and secretly expect some changes. Even though a person would not have a specific time when he goes through the transition. The reasons could be a relationship, a family tragedy, a failed exam anything. But it happens with everyone.
Life is never the same. The problem creater is now the solver. His words are heeded not to give answers but to get answers. His ways of getting everyone’s attention changes. That is what some of us had craved throughout our adolescent lives. Yet something is lost in a way. Something that was never valued previously. Something that never seemed to have any use. Something that was considered the definition of living – Balance.
Since the ship has got a new captain it is not the captain who mostly drives it, it is the sea which takes it to places. When there is sun the captain is busy making new ventures on the ship. When the rain gods roar the captain is on the steering wheel trying to fight the sea’s ways. The captain always waits for the weather to be clear. He keeps waiting because he has known a world where the sun rises bright one day.
Unknown to the sea the captain fights hard. Yet there are instances when the captain feels he has had enough. He wants to break free from the captain’s role where people expect more than they should. More importantly, the definition to the captain role is different for everyone. For some it remaining calm and serious. For some it is to beat the sea at its game. And that makes adulthood even more challenging period. This sometimes leads to a situation when you want it to get over because you don’t want hear anything. Much like this scene.
Unlike the scene in the movie there is no situation where you can say OVER! There is no stop or pause button either. The misery will never end. Some day you will get accustomed to it and begin to enjoy it. That is when I suppose adulthood arrives. Until then the sea remains the master and you remain at the receiving end.